Coco (2017)

Well, it’d been a good long time since I cried in a movie theater. Thanks a lot, Disney/Pixar’s Coco. As a longtime Pixar fan, it’s a little tough to admit that I didn’t have very high expectations for this movie. I knew almost nothing about the plot walking into that theater, only that the most…

Scare-athon 2k17! (21-31)

It may be November, but are horror movies ever truly out of season? Even if it’s not to get you in the mood for costumes or candy, nothing seasons the deluge of blockbuster superhero movies and Disney sequels like a good scare. And luckily for me, the last eleven days of my Scare-athon yielded some…

Scare-athon 11-20!

October 11th: Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night (2010) Shot in the classic found footage style of the original Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night tells the story of a brother and sister who discover evidence of ghosts in their home. Did I watch this movie thinking it was Paranormal Activity 2? Absolutely I did….

Scare-athon 2k17! (1-10)

It’s October, and that means something different for everybody. Some people begin planning their Pennywise costumes or deck out their rooms in cobwebs and pumpkin-themed fairy lights. Others dress up in their Halloween best (whether that’s a simple-but-classic set of vampire fangs or a full-on Overwatch cosplay) and go to parties with friends. Others still…

Life Update + Announcement!

Hey, all. Just wanted to drop a quick post to let you know that the format of these reviews will be slightly different moving forward. I’ve recently started studying at the College of William and Mary, and have begun working with their student-run newspaper, The Flat Hat, to develop a movie review blog on their…

Death Note (2017)

*SPOILERS* I remember back when I thought the only two things wrong with this movie were (1) the casting director’s refusal to accept auditions from Asian actors for the role of Light Yagami, and (2) the fact that they changed this famous character’s name to the pinnacle of lameness that is “Light Turner.” These are…

Logan Lucky (2017)

*SPOILERS* Logan Lucky is just shy of two hours long, but it feels like four. You’d think a movie with such a fun trailer would be a fast-paced thrill ride for its audience, but this one trudged along like a sloth parade. Maybe a movie that knew how seriously to take itself could have pulled off…

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Here’s a short-and-sweet review of one of my favorite movies of the year. I had high hopes for Spider-Man: Homecoming from the start, mainly because I was overjoyed at the prospect of Marvel finally casting an actual teenager to play Peter Parker. For a long time, that’s all the reason I needed to see this…

Descendants 2 (2017)

For a lot of young Disney fans (and also certain people who get their kicks complaining about subpar movies on the internet), Descendants 2 was one of the most anticipated films of the year. I remember the days when I thought Disney was really going to take this idea seriously, and put some effort into…

Baby Driver (2017)

This movie was stylish as hell. I’ve seen Edgar Wright films before (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), but never anything quite like this. This is the story of Baby, a getaway driver who makes his escapes to the beat of his neverending playlist. It’s also the best movie I’ve seen in…

Wonder Woman (2017)

Wonder Woman had the least collateral damage I’ve seen from a superhero movie in years, and it was about World War fucking One. This is less of a compliment for Wonder Woman and more of a complaint against all of the other recent city-leveling Marvel features, but I’ll give credit where credit is due! There…

Alien: Covenant (2017)

This one will probably be short, both because I have few complaints about the movie, and because I know very little about the Alien franchise. I’ve seen Alien and Aliens (watched them the day I went to see Covenant!), but for some reason I’ve never been able to sit through Prometheus without reading, or sewing,…