The Accountant (October 2016)

THE ACCOUNTANT (October 2016) The main character of this movie was what caught my eye. Christian Wolff, a freelance accountant with high-functioning autism and a penchant for problem-solving, spends his days crunching numbers for treacherous criminal organizations. But while Wolff and this movie’s premise were what got me into that theater, this high-action crime drama…

Scare-athon! 21-30

Sorry for the lateness; as of now, I’m on #40, so I’ll be doing my best to catch up with my blurb posts this weekend. 1 . MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009): Remake of the 1981 movie about a murdering miner who’s got beef with Valentine’s Day, this time with more novelty 3-D. Came for the…

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children (October 2016)

*SPOILER WARNING* Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children is one of the most unique stories I’ve ever read; it’s difficult to build a coherent narrative around a bunch of random, unrelated vintage photographs, but Ransom Riggs uses his pictures to construct a vivid, entertaining story and a fantastic cast of characters. Generally speaking, it’s extremely…

Scare-athon! 11-20

And we’re back, with Round Two! 1. +1 (2013): Guests at a wild house party suddenly discovers they each have an identical double. Awesome concept, but poorly executed. Deserves more than a 5.5 on IMDb (I’d rate…6.3?). Worth noting that the hero and his love interest have no chemistry at all. C+. 2. THE WOMAN IN BLACK (2012):…

Scare-athon! 1-10

It’s Halloween (I mean October), and with the spookiest month of the year also comes my annual Scare-athon. The rules are these: watch as many horror movies as you possibly can within thirty-one days. The number to beat in 2016 is 40, so I have miles to go before I sleep, and (since I already burned through…

Sickhouse (2016)

I’ll keep this one short and sweet because, to sum it up: I really loved this movie. And it came out of nowhere, too. Just like Nerve, and Mad Max: Fury Road, and a lot of my other favorites, Sickhouse hit me by surprise. Initially, I watched it for its premise; an entire feature-length movie…

Krampus (released 2015)

I watched Krampus in preparation for the Halloween Horror Nights house, and…it was about what I expected it to be. I didn’t even end up going into the house; I figured it would be the haunted house equivalent of a Christmas-themed horror movie starring Parks and Recreation and The Office regulars. Jokes aside though, Adam…

Kubo and the Two Strings (September 2016)

When I went to see Kubo, I was dead sick. Probably the worst day I possibly could have chosen to drag myself out of bed to see a lively animated movie. But the fact that I was a walking snot waterfall with a backpack full of used tissues and cough drops didn’t prevent me in…

Suicide Squad (August 2016)

*SPOILER WARNING* Apologies to my fellow comic book nerds and Hot Topic patrons. Although I anticipated the release of Suicide Squad for months with great excitement, upon actually seeing the movie, the coveted top spot still belongs to Nerve. Somebody let Zack Snyder near this film; I can taste it. Suicide Squad was the big-screen…

Nerve (July 2016)

I have a difficult question for moviegoers. How is it that a film starring an actor I decidedly do not like, a movie that practically has a pop album instead of a proper soundtrack, just earned the top spot as my favorite movie of the summer? How the hell did that happen? The answer is…

Ghostbusters (July 2016)

I was supremely excited for this movie, and it did not disappoint. It even prompted me to buy a logo patch to sew onto my punk-kid jean vest, just so I could be that much more like Jillian Holtzmann. I’ve been a big Ghostbusters fan ever since my parents introduced me to the originals as…

Captain America: Civil War (May 2016)

*SPOILER WARNING* I’ve been relatively disappointed with Marvel movies of late (with the exception of Deadpool, which should be framed in a museum and played on a continuous loop). Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, and now, this brand new sequel, have all recently joined the ranks of Superhero Movies I Don’t Really Care About. A quick…