Scare-athon! 21-30

Sorry for the lateness; as of now, I’m on #40, so I’ll be doing my best to catch up with my blurb posts this weekend.

1 . MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009): Remake of the 1981 movie about a murdering miner who’s got beef with Valentine’s Day, this time with more novelty 3-D. Came for the Jensen Ackles. Stayed for the…Jensen Ackles. This movie doesn’t really have much else going for it. Watch the original, it’s better. C


2. JENNIFER’S BODY (2009): A high school it-girl is turned into an evil succubus who preys on her suitors. I don’t think much of it as a horror movie, but you can certainly follow the story without getting bored. It’s a bit ridiculous at times and corny as hell, but it’s an okay flick as long as you don’t take it too seriously (I did). Bonus points for a creative end credits scene. C++


3. GOODNIGHT MOMMY (2014): About twin boys experiencing Capgras delusion (the irrational belief that a familiar person has been replaced with an exact duplicate). Great concept, visuals, and double the twists (see what I did there), but zero compelling characters. Plus, the real horror of this movie is waiting for the action to happen. B-


4. BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974): A sorority is stalked from the inside by a terrifying home invader. Genuinely scary from the first scene. Distinctive characters, a nightmare-fuel antagonist, and a kind of horror that’s very psychological for an old slasher. A


5. A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT (2014): Not only a horror, but also an Iranian Vampire Western, which is probably the coolest combination of genres I’ve ever experienced. It’s in black and white, and it’s all in Persian so you’ll have to either do some digging and find a version with subs or just read off an English script while you watch like I did, but it’s well worth it. Do it for Death by White Lies, do it for a hipster vampire girl pushing the wasted main character in a Dracula costume along the sidewalk on her skateboard. Do it for the cat. If you want an unconventional foreign horror/thriller with a kickass soundtrack, give this one a watch. A


6. THE VISIT (2015): Two kids meet their grandparents for the first time, but these folks aren’t quite what they expected. I’ve never been a huge Shyamalan fan; although he’s admittedly produced some great work in the past, The Last Airbender destroyed my faith in adaptations. BUT while one main protagonist has wildly unrealistic dialogue, and the metaphoric theme of young vs. old/death can be a bit heavy handed at times, Shyamalan really knows how to create suspense. B+


7. THE GALLOWS (2015): A school attempts to put on a play that once killed an understudy onstage. This movie knows how to make a good jumpscare. However, there are zero likable characters, and the ending was beyond stupid. Can’t recommend it. C-


8. MAGIC (1978): A rising-star ventriloquist and magician makes decisions according to the will of his dummy. Beautiful soundtrack. Engaging story. Not exactly scary, but definitely suspenseful. Also ANTHONY HOPKINS. A


9. FRIGHT NIGHT (1985): A boy becomes suspicious that his new neighbor is a vampire. A classic I’d kind of forgotten about. Not a bad premise at all, although I found the protagonist extremely unlikable. Despite that, ended up really enjoying the movie. Full of twists and turns. B+


10. THE OMEN (1976): A father suspects his son is not really his own, but the spawn of Satan. A right classic. I can’t believe how many references I’ve been missing. B+



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