Scare-athon 31-41!

Happy Halloween!! (Edit: Happy November seventh!!) This will be the final installment of my 2016 Scare-athon, and it’s just dawned on me that I’ve watched forty-one horror movies since October 1st. I can’t believe I managed to get any sleep at all in these past thirty-one days. Thanks for sticking with me on this terrifying journey; hope you found some new movies for your to-watch lists in the process. Now…

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1 . THE CONJURING (2013): Based on true events. A pair of paranormal investigators are called to a farmhouse where a family of seven is being haunted by something unknown and terrifying. First off, I had no idea Annabelle was a spinoff of this movie. I thought the internet was broken; I was trying to watch The Conjuring, dammit, why do you keep giving me Annabelle? Ten links before I realized. Definitely worth sticking it out through my frustrations; Vera Farmiga is my queen. I’ll admit, this is a wholly unoriginal concept, but the story was chilling and easy to get into. Verdict: Ghost hunter movies are the bomb. B+

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2. THE EVIL DEAD (1983): I watched the remake first, and liked it well enough. Then the musical, which I liked significantly less. Yet, enough to continue the journey! I can see why this film is so famous. It’s incredibly original; demon possession like I’ve never seen before (not since, either). The special effects/voice modulation effects in this movie are downright horrifying. You’ve gotta feel for Ash. A-

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3. EVIL DEAD II (1987): This film is kind of like Evil Dead’s darkly comedic stoner cousin. The whole thing had an alarmingly Tim Burton vibe to it, but that wasn’t a bad thing at all (this one is my favorite of the franchise). This is the film where Ash gets that crazy in his eyes (it never really goes away). Also the chainsaw hand. Don’t forget about the chainsaw hand. A

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4. ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992): You start to get really emotionally invested by the third movie, even though, somewhere along the way, you realize that you’re watching a threequel about a time traveling deadite-slaying housewares employee with a chainsaw for a hand. I enjoyed the plots of the first two films, but this one was kind of ridiculous; the slapstick gets a bit out of hand. Consider this one more of a novelty-ridden action than a horror. B-

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5. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 (2010): Surprisingly, this sequel added a lot to the first film; it provided some more background and addressed the cliffhanger. However, there were huge lapses in the action. A bit boring. B-

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6. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981): A group of teenage counselor trainees venture a bit too close to Camp Crystal Lake. Great, for a sequel. Still waiting on the franchise’s iconic bits, though. Part II was a classic slasher, but it lacked a meaningful plot. B-

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7. RE-ANIMATOR (1985): A medical student brings his headless professor back to life with a serum he developed. This movie stole its opening theme directly from Psycho (I’m not exaggerating.) However, all other parts of it (pacing, plot, gore/effects) are so undeniably awesome that I do not care. A+

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8. POLTERGEIST (1982): Ghosts begin to communicate with a California family through their television set. Like a combination of Ghost and The Amityville Horror. Let me say, the ’80s were a great decade for horror movies. B+

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9. ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968): A pregnant woman begins to suspect that her baby is not of this world. My favorite part about this movie is its soundtrack. The plot progresses slowly, but if you’re willing to stick it out until the end, you’ll be rewarded. A

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10. WOLF CREEK (2005): Stranded travelers on a deserted Australian road are held hostage by the only man who offered help. This movie doesn’t know when to include nature shots and when to leave them out, and its questionably true source material is bogged down by the slasher-y plot. The dialogue ranges from boring to scripted as hell, and the plot includes every mundane thing the characters do. You know you’re in trouble when you’re fifty minutes in without a single scare. (Hell, I knew at thirty, but I had to keep counting because these assholes didn’t get bound and gagged until 51:40.) C-

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11. DRACULA (1931): This classic monster movie was the perfect ending to my Scare-athon, and it boasts the best soundtrack of the genre. Just jaw-droppingly good; wonderful background music for pumpkin carving. I also love the concept of vampires being able to control people’s minds. Bela Lugosi was a treasure. A

BONUS: THE RANKINGS

~GREAT~

Sickhouse (2016)

Sinister (2012)

Re-Animator (1985)

The Boy (2016)

The Shallows (2016)

Se7en (1995)

Misery (1990)

The Babadook (2014)

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night (2014)

Black Christmas (1974)

Pontypool (2008)

The Woman in Black (2012)

Evil Dead II (1987)

The Evil Dead (1983)

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Magic (1978)

The Conjuring (2013)

Poltergeist (1982)

The Visit (2015)

Dracula (1931)

The Wicker Man (2006)

Fright Night (1985)

The Omen (1976)

~EH~

Army of Darkness (1992)

Let Me In (2010)

Child’s Play 2 (1990)

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Friday the 13th Part II (1981)

Goodnight Mommy (2014)

The Amityville Horror (1979)

+1 (2013)

ATM (2012)

The Gallows (2015)

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

~TERRIBLE~

Wolf Creek (2005)

Krampus (2015)

The Human Centipede (2009)

V/H/S (2012)

Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

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